Trauma Isn’t What You Think It Is (Take the quiz below)
There’s still a common misconception that trauma must involve blood, guts, or gore. That isn’t accurate.
For decades I’ve relied on a definition I first found in a book by Beverly James:
“A trauma is a real or perceived threat of danger or loss that overwhelms a person’s usual coping mechanisms.”
The truth is, everyone has something that “gets” them.
My late husband served three tours in Vietnam as a Navy SEAL. One day in Los Angeles, a suicidal man pulled a knife on us. Before I could even panic, my husband had him on the ground—belly down, hands behind his back, knife out of his hand. For him, it was just another day in paradise. I, however, was shaken to my core.
Months later, when a small dog of ours broke its leg and cried out in pain, my Navy SEAL couldn’t handle it. I had to get him out of the room because he was so undone.
This illustrates a simple truth: weak, strong, right, wrong—these labels don’t apply to how people respond to traumatic events. Our nervous systems react in different ways, and that is simply human. There should be no stigma in admitting the need for help. In fact, it takes tremendous courage and strength to show vulnerability, to acknowledge feelings, and to ask for support.
Over the years I’ve also seen this: the moment someone finally “lets go,” admits they need help, and seeks it, is often a moment of profound relief—and a point of deep connection with the Divine.
In 2007, Susan Salasin visited my agency after hearing numerous reports of our success in transforming trauma. I told her right away that before she shared about our work, there was one core belief she needed to understand:
All healing happens on a spiritual plane.
Her response was striking: “I wish all psychiatrists and psychologists knew that.”
When seeking help—especially for trauma, which so often stirs an existential crisis—it is vital to find someone who recognizes this truth. Trauma, at its core, is often a message from the Divine: showing you where you need to heal, where you need to grow, and where you need to reconnect.
✨ Closing Thought
Healing begins when we dare to admit our need, and continues when we open to the deeper message within our pain.
Teresa Descilo, MSW, MCT
My Online training for Traditional Trauma Resolution is now available. Only $550 for my first time running the course. https://www.teresadescilo.com/trainings-groups